Originally I had told him he would pay $25 per minute to meet Me for coffee but he wasn't allowed to sit at My table or talk to Me, he could only watch Me sip My latte while I ignored him and not follow when I chose to leave. he was both devastated and turned on that I intended to be so cruel to him and immediately begged Me to double My price, which I generously did.
About an hour later I arrived and immediately recognized him as the shamefaced loser wearing the way too tight bright yellow Ashley Simpson tshirt and pumps I told him to wear and trying to hide behind a pair of sunglasses. *FYI sunglasses only block out UV rays not the horrified stares of the general public.
I was not actually planning to acknowledge him at all but he looked so ridiculous that it caught Me off guard and I started laughing and couldn't help but say really loud 'OMG YOU LOOK RETARDED!!!' which he took as an invitation for conversation. I sent him up to the counter to get My coffee and made him ask the barista if She knew when Ashley Simpson was coming to town because he was Her biggest fan. Instead of laughing at him or being creeped out She just looked annoyed like this is the type of shit She has to put up with everyday at Her shitty coffeebar job and said 'no' and walked away. I made him tip Her $20 for the look of disgust She threw as She handed him My coffee and then told him to follow Me while I window shopped a couple of stores.
I ended up about 50 ft away at Urban Outfitters and saw a dress I liked in the window. I asked fanboy how much money he brought with him and he told Me $3000. I smiled and told him We were going in.
I quickly found about $350 in clothes that I wanted while My boy tagged along behind Me carrying everything and trying to carefully maneuver the tight aisles without tripping in his 4 in pumps. I decided to try everything on while he waited for Me. When I came out he told Me how bad it sucked to stand there by himself with everyone looking at him so in an attempt to make him more comfortable, lol, the next time I went in the dressing room I made sure he had lots of stuff to try on too.
I picked out the frilliest, girliest outfits for him to put on and made him come out and ask the male fitting room attendant how he looked. It took him a long time to come out of the dressing room but when he did it was totally worth it. he looked even more hysterical than when he walked in even tho the dork salesperson kept telling him how great he looked -they must work on commision. I made him buy the entire outfit.
When We got up to the register I told him to hand Me his wallet. he forked it over no problem. I pulled out the envelope with the $3 grand in it and put it in My bag then I flashed him a big wicked smile and handed the cashier one of his credit cards. he signed for My purchases and as We were walking out commented innocently that he thought the outfit in the window would look incredible on Me. I agreed and sent him back up to the register while I piled another $200 worth of goodies on him. When he finally made it up to the register to pay I noticed a picture on the wall and said I liked it. he asked Me which one I wanted and I told him to guess. he wasn't sure what to do so he ended up grabbing all 3 of the pics and pulling out his wallet yet again for another $150 charge. I made him struggle through the mall with My mountain of bags and paintings while I comfortably sipped My coffee and looked in store windows.
When We finally left I stopped at the Ladies room before heading outside. While We were walking to My car I told him about how filthy the bathroom floor was that I just walked all over and how grossed out I was by the disgusting filth on the bottom of My shoes. I didn't see any reason why that dirt and scum should have to rub off on My gas pedal and mats so I had him do one more thing for Me before I left him groveling, broken, and humiliated in the mall parking garage
As he knelt on the pavement by My car door dressed in his supertight pop idol tshirt and high heels licking the bottoms of My shoes I rummaged through My bags and admired all of My new things. All total I ended up with nearly $4K for about an hour and half of shopping, coffee, and laughs. Not a bad afternoon.
No comments:
Post a Comment